Brando Eye Warmer: USB Device or Harbinger of the Apocalypse?

When the Lamb broke the seventh seal, there was silence in John’s basement for about half an hour. And I saw the seven angels who stand before God, and seven trumpets were given to them. Another angel came and stood at the altar, holding a $15 Brando USB Eye Warmer for ; and much incense was given to him, so that he might add it to the prayers of all the geeks on the golden altar which was before the throne. And the smoke of the eye warmer, with the prayers of the geeks, went up before God out of the angel’s hand. Then the angel took the eye warmer and filled it with the fire of the altar, and threw it to the earth; and there followed peals of thunder and sounds and flashes of lightning and an earthquake.

Product Page aka Signal of the End Times