Apple's reception issue talking points leaked, no mention of fix

So apparently the reception problems on the iPhone 4G are reaching levels where Apple feels they need to make sure their customer service people are aware of it. According to a document leaked to BGR, the problem isn’t with the phone (or the network) it’s that you’re not holding your new phone properly

That’s right everyone, the problem isn’t the fact that Apple had the bright idea of putting the antenna in the most likely place for you to hold the phone, the problem is that you’re holding it wrong. If you were holding your phone properly, you wouldn’t be having these problems!

I call bullshit on this one, to me Apple is trying to spin a bad design idea into some type of “it’s not our fault” situation. This makes me think of the movie Fight Club and how the protagonist is trained to deal with automotive recalls. So there you have it. Either hold your shiny new phone properly, buy a case for it, or slap some electrical tape over the antenna portion.

Oh, and for your entertainment, here’s the document that leaked, containing exactly what you will be told if you call Apple and complain about your new phone:

1. Keep all of the positioning statements in the BN handy – your tone when delivering this information is important.

a. The iPhone 4’s wireless performance is the best we have ever shipped. Our testing shows that iPhone 4’s overall antenna performance is better than iPhone 3GS.

b. Gripping almost any mobile phone in certain places will reduce its reception. This is true of the iPhone 4, the iPhone 3GS, and many other phones we have tested. It is a fact of life in the wireless world.

c. If you are experiencing this on your iPhone 3GS, avoid covering the bottom-right side with your hand.

d. If you are experiencing this on your iPhone 4, avoid covering the black strip in the lower-left corner of the metal band.

e. The use of a case or Bumper that is made out of rubber or plastic may improve wireless performance by keeping your hand from directly covering these areas.

2. Do not perform warranty service. Use the positioning above for any customer questions or concerns.

3. Don’t forget YOU STILL NEED to probe and troubleshoot. If a customer calls about their reception while the phone is sitting on a table (not being held) it is not the metal band.

4. ONLY escalate if the issue exists when the phone is not held AND you cannot resolve it.

5. We ARE NOT appeasing customers with free bumpers – DON’T promise a free bumper to customers.

Before you start in on me “hating” Apple, please realize this article was written on a Mac, while I listened to my iPod Touch. So no, I don’t hate Apple. I just hate when corporations screw up then refuse to admit it.