The Back Burner: Things we didn't post this week

A big thank you to everybody for filling our tips at crunchgear dot com inbox with wonderful, unique, and newsworthy items. Here are five that we just couldn’t get to this week.

Subject: hot press release

My name is Gregory Rodin, I work for the TRIPLE.COM LLC
( We are a premium quality ICANN-accredited domain registrar and
hosting company.

I would like to know if we can submit a hot press release for your blog?

What exactly do we want…

At the moment we are launching a giant promo action with the Thanksgiving Day offering great discounts for domain names and we want to attract attention to this campaign. Trust me, this will be a real hot offer and everyone will be eager to repost this news on their blogs. I can guarantee, that the information will be given exclusively
to you on the first day of the promo action. If you agree to be the first one to make a post about it, you will drive a huge traffic to your site. More than that, together we can digg (as well as reddit etc- write me what service you also like to be promoted to) this news page massively. We will help you in that with all our resources so you will receive tons of backlinks and we will get a good stream of new customers. Sounds nice?

Write me back. We’ll give you the whole info on our promo so you will be able to make a news blogpost out of it.

Please reply as soon as possible
Thank you in advance
Best Regards

Reason we didn’t use it: Dude, Greg. I love the hot press releases. I love the Thanksgiving, too, as you called it. What’s this real hot offer all about?! Sounds sick, Hambone. Sick, like SoCal sick. The fact that you guys only charge $4 per month for 250 megabytes of web space is off the hook. I’ve never heard of such a hot deal. I’m guessing that’s what the hot press release is about. My hosting company charges me $5 per month for 120 gigabytes but that’s just flashy if you ask me. You guys are playing it cool by only offering a tiny fraction of what other hosting companies offer. Everyone knows that cool is the new hot.

We don’t cover hosting companies yet but I’ll totally scope out some sort of angle to my dangle. Brah, if you really could help us submit the post we’d write about your hot hosting company to Digg and maybe Reddit, that’d be white hot (hotter than conventional hotness). Anyway, it sounds like your company is just what we need to get put on the map. The heat map, that is.

Subject: v3 phone

I am looking to unlock my v3 phone. It’s a cingular.


Reason we didn’t use it: Good for you, Nancy! I think this would have made one of the most phenomenal news stories of the week but apparently posting cryptic e-mail messages that have nothing to do with anything is frowned upon in our industry. I think your tip was great, though. I laughed, I cried, and I learned a little about myself. Top shelf all around. To be honest with you, you want to skip sites like ours altogether and start your own blog. You don’t need us. We’ll be sending tips to you in no time! Actually, here’s one to get you started. Good luck and have fun!

I am sitting down. I long for a snack of some type.


Subject: link trade /purchasing links from your site:

My name is peter
i would like to have a link exchange with your site  :
i have many gambling ralated sites pr 3-5
for example : pr 4 site
i you are intrested please send me your sites list (that if you have more than one site)

so we castum a dael that will benefit both of us
i you are Not intrested in link exchange and you are selling links from
please send me your rates and payment method
waiting for your reply

Reason we didn’t use it: This was a judgment call and I’m still not sure if we made the right decision. I personally thought something was up when you sent this same exact e-mail ten times on Monday and four times on Tuesday. Now that I’ve had a chance to really think about it, you’re probably just really excited about the prospect of castuming a dael with us. Gambling sites are hot, too. Hot, like TRIPLE.COM hot.

I don’t know about a link exchange but we will, in fact, sell links to you for $4 apiece, which should cover our hot hosting costs. You may pay via Paypal or we also accept hugs and well-wishes. Please advise.

Subject: Do email us

Do email us for Clarification and Claim of your $2,000,000.00 won in the lottery Award.Contact agent email addres:
winning no,f3-11234p,tik no,L44s209m,Ref no,L413979,
Tell:0031-61-11-464-78 ,Contact claim agent Mr,cole van Hans. Contact E-Mail:
Regard,from, irena versloot award codilator

Reason we didn’t use it: I’m not going to name any names or point any fingers but one or more of my distinguished colleagues seems to think that we didn’t really win $2 million in the "lottery Award" you mentioned.

You seem like a nice lady, Irena Versloot, and I’m sure you’re probably one of the best award codilators in all of eastern Europe but if I could just give you a slight little critique about your e-mail, it would be that you should maybe try to avoid using commas so aggressively. I kinda felt like I was in a microbus with a busted clutch thanks to all the herky jerky stops and starts caused by your liberal use of commas. I hope you take first place in the three legged race at the annual codilators picnic this year, though. Let us know how it goes!

Subject: Dearest One,

Dearest One,

I am Sandra James  22Years Old Lady from  (cote d ivore) ,the only daughter of  Late  Micheal  James , My father is now late he was a well known cocoa and gold merchant business man in my country( cote d ivore) ,he was poisoned by his co-business partner a year ago.  

The main reason why I am contacting you now is to seek your assistance in the area of my future investment and also for a help hand over some huge amount of money in my possession.

This fund  ( US5.6 Million dollars)  is deposited in a  bank in  my country in (cote d’ivoire) a  years ago by my father he made me the sole beneficiary.I am now asking you to stand on my behalf,to stand as my partner and in time of the claim and investment as well. I have made up my mind to offer you 13%of the total money while the remaining will go into a productive investment.  

Pls attach your direct and full information as you reply to me. You can also contact me with this email

Thanks and remain bless.

Best Regards

Sandra James

Reason we didn’t use it: I don’t know why we didn’t post this but I’ll be DAMNED if I don’t avenge your father’s death, Sandra. Micheal James was one of the finest, most honest, hardest working men I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. He single-handedly put the cocoa and gold merchant industries on the map (similar to the heat map that TRIPLE.COM is going to help CrunchGear get on).

I know his co-business partner, Roddy Doyle. Hear this; Roddy Doyle is a rat bastard that’d stab his own grandmother in the back if she dropped a nickel on the floor. There’s an old saying in the gold mines: "Nobody wishes Roddy D. deader than me."

I’ll tell you what. You keep my 13% to use for your productive investment. This isn’t about money any more. This is about bloodlust. Micheal James’ untimely death shall be avenged. Tell your mother we all say hi and remember to HAVE FUN in college. These are the greatest years of your life (except for all the betrayal and poisonings).

Click here to read previous Back Burner posts…